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She sat by the window the whole night, watching the sky turning from pitch dark to grey to maroonish orange. Her eyes were dry. Stark. She knew it’s a bad omen. Tears mean hurt. Arid eyes mean hurt that went too deep to induce tears- like a bullet that goes so deep in your innards that no blood comes out. She could feel the shadow of dead in her eyes. Few months had given her a lifetime of memories. She wondered whether that’s what they would remain now-memories. A ghost of what it was and never could be. She felt cold, in the midst of a very hot spring! She wanted to think but couldn’t. She wanted to talk, to tell somebody what she was feeling. She thought that would take some part of the pain away. Talking about it. It’s like letting your dense pain out in the thin air through words, so that it gets diluted. But there was nobody she could turn to. The clouds were dark and there was no sun. She knew she needed courage and conviction and above all, a clear understanding. Instead, she had got confusion, and cowardice. And like every coward, she wished for some divine help, knowing full well there would be none…
And like her story, it’s incomplete….
And like her story, it’s incomplete….

4 Comments:
I have read just this one post, so based on that I can say you write well. A little touch and minor improvements can help you write much better prose. But this was good. My unasked for 2 cents. Keep writing :)
Oh, drop in at my blog sometime as well! Its at www.adityeah.com :)
I see you are extremely interested in writing prose, so I hope you understand that I only wish to encourage you.
1. Your prose is over done. You are putting too much effort into trying to make it sound interesting. Always remember, it's only uninteresting idea's which require additional efforts to make them sound interesting.
2. Tense. Stick to a single tense. You meander between the past and the present. You start of in third person past tense, switch to third person present tense and then back to third past. It is considered bad manners in the literature circle to do that.
3. Grammar. Punctuations. Try and form composite sentences instead of small broken up sentences like, "She thought that would take some part of the pain away. Talking about it. " Again, trying to make it sound enigmatic doesn't work.
Reading good literature by authors like Ernst Hemingway, Franz Kafka, Salman Rushdie; even Woody Allen can help you a lot.
Most literature classes uses the following book as a basic first year reading. Try buying a copy and going through it. A second hand copy shouldn't cost more than 2 dollars. http://www.amazon.com/Elements-Style-Coyote-Canyon-Classics/dp/0979660742/ref=pd_bbs_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1214348959&sr=1-1
Hi Anon... wow!! I won't put so much thoughts into somebody else's blog :) Kudos... anyway, I would like to have a chat with you sometime. Care to drop in your gtalk id?
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